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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything constantly. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. It's unpleasant when other people see her performing for the camera – I get secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. Later, I appear on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I'm in conversation to another person, or we’ll just be spending time in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. She’s taken me to a couple of industry functions, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my career in design, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that makes us look good for her vlog.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me smiling with someone. It feels forced. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love being with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her Instagram.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I want my friend to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I love shooting content. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online allows me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a professional creator yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of offering access, providing her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see what the work we create together can achieve: a foot in the door. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but often unplanned moments is what makes content authentic. Being recorded occasionally is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anyone to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. I thought recording a clip now and then would be enjoyable for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects lively and enjoyable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never intentionally embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our shared experiences.

I cherish our friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to come between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and steering clear of shots that might make her self-conscious.

This is not about power, it’s about sharing my world while still considering hers. Obviously content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I desire her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and Beth when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it's her job, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my work. Perhaps she can find influencer friends to collaborate with. Given the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love producing videos and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It seems like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some authentic experiences, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution lies not in trying to alter one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been exploiting their bond?